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Shout-out-loud
shut up and go to the top
7:54 PM
Sunday, May 16, 2010

this is gonna be a new beginning for Muhammad Yazid Bin Haji Gazali.

all this problems could only stop me from enjoying my life to the fullest.
and i am gonna fight till the very end to turn my life around.
i am not gonna sit down and let all this challenges that god gave me stop me from achieving the best in me.
for the past few weeks, i have been suffering inside out.
at times i feel like ending my life to end this suffering.
but i won't.

is it bad luck?
maybe.
i feel like i am having an endless string of bad luck.
people close to me should know.
well i can't change luck.
but i really really hope all this bad luck is just a sign to much better luck in the future.

or is it karma?
definitely.
i am very sure this is god punishment for all my wrong doings in the past.
i did too many sin.
i don't pray to god,
i drink,
i tried illegal stuffs,
i steal,
and the list goes on..
i enjoy my life during those time.
just imagine, in just seconds, i can get 3 digit cash.
spending them happily without realizing the consequences.
and now, serve you right Mr Caddy.
well, what goes around, comes around.
one moment you are sky high, the next moment you are down looking up to the sky.
karma boy, karma.

whatever it may be, bad luck or karma, i don't fucking care.
i ain't giving up.
god don't give us challenges that we can't overcome.
i am sure there's a way to change everything.
and i am gonna find it no matter what.

having this kind of sickness is very fucked up.
have you people ever feel how its like to wake feeling so weak,
then you have to go to school,
trying your best to focus but its really tough to do so,
then by the time you end class,
you start to feel very sick,
and the moment you step home you start to have fever,
you lay down, covering yourself with a blanket, shivering,
all you can do is think why all this problems is happening to you,
you can't even do you assignments and it's piling up,
then you'll try with all your might to get up and take your medicine,
and even after that you can't even sleep,
your fever gets better around midnight or later than that,
by the time you start to have a little extra energy,
it is too late to even do you work,
you'll fall asleep.
and this cycle goes on every single day.
have you?
well i have.

my life seem to skid of the track and i know there is a lot of work to do just to get it back on the right track.
well that is what i have to do now.
gonna be strong to endure all the problems.

ya allah, ampunkan lah dosa-dosa hamba mu ini.
berikan lah aku kekuatan untuk tempuhi segala dugaanmu ini.
dan jadikan lah hamba mu yang lemah ini seorang yang beriman, berjaya dan jadikan ku seorang anak yang soleh dan taat pada agama.
amin.

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