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The One and Only

Flashback

March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 May 2010

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Amanda
Ariff
Atikah
Azri
Dinah
Divya
Enul
Faqih
Farhanah
Farhannis
Farid
Fazirah
Fitrah
Four9Class08rs
Hadi
Hawa
Hidayah
HuiPin
Imah
Ivan
Jason
Jinger
Joey
Kae Jian
Li Ying
Lynette
Maisurah
Mard
Marilyn
Mira
Nadirah
Nancy
Qing Hao
Rachel
Rifhan
Rina
Seri
Shadrina
Shareefah
Sharul
Shikin
SiHao
Syafiq(Sya)
Syafiq(Fiq)
Syakirah
Syarif
Syasya
Syazwan
Two4Class06rs
YiHui
Yohannis
ZiJian

Shout-out-loud
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9:58 AM
Friday, May 21, 2010

i love photography!


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ouh anyway i am slowly recovering i guess.
so far this week i don't have any fever but got a very bad headache everyday though.
hopefully i can get well as soon as possible for i have lots and lots of work to do.
need to find 1 or 2 days to do some catching up.

gonna need to bounce back.

oh god, i am damn sleepy and hungry sia!

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i am officially lost in DATABASE MANAGEMENT SYSTEMS!

shitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshit!!

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shut up and go to the top
7:54 PM
Sunday, May 16, 2010

this is gonna be a new beginning for Muhammad Yazid Bin Haji Gazali.

all this problems could only stop me from enjoying my life to the fullest.
and i am gonna fight till the very end to turn my life around.
i am not gonna sit down and let all this challenges that god gave me stop me from achieving the best in me.
for the past few weeks, i have been suffering inside out.
at times i feel like ending my life to end this suffering.
but i won't.

is it bad luck?
maybe.
i feel like i am having an endless string of bad luck.
people close to me should know.
well i can't change luck.
but i really really hope all this bad luck is just a sign to much better luck in the future.

or is it karma?
definitely.
i am very sure this is god punishment for all my wrong doings in the past.
i did too many sin.
i don't pray to god,
i drink,
i tried illegal stuffs,
i steal,
and the list goes on..
i enjoy my life during those time.
just imagine, in just seconds, i can get 3 digit cash.
spending them happily without realizing the consequences.
and now, serve you right Mr Caddy.
well, what goes around, comes around.
one moment you are sky high, the next moment you are down looking up to the sky.
karma boy, karma.

whatever it may be, bad luck or karma, i don't fucking care.
i ain't giving up.
god don't give us challenges that we can't overcome.
i am sure there's a way to change everything.
and i am gonna find it no matter what.

having this kind of sickness is very fucked up.
have you people ever feel how its like to wake feeling so weak,
then you have to go to school,
trying your best to focus but its really tough to do so,
then by the time you end class,
you start to feel very sick,
and the moment you step home you start to have fever,
you lay down, covering yourself with a blanket, shivering,
all you can do is think why all this problems is happening to you,
you can't even do you assignments and it's piling up,
then you'll try with all your might to get up and take your medicine,
and even after that you can't even sleep,
your fever gets better around midnight or later than that,
by the time you start to have a little extra energy,
it is too late to even do you work,
you'll fall asleep.
and this cycle goes on every single day.
have you?
well i have.

my life seem to skid of the track and i know there is a lot of work to do just to get it back on the right track.
well that is what i have to do now.
gonna be strong to endure all the problems.

ya allah, ampunkan lah dosa-dosa hamba mu ini.
berikan lah aku kekuatan untuk tempuhi segala dugaanmu ini.
dan jadikan lah hamba mu yang lemah ini seorang yang beriman, berjaya dan jadikan ku seorang anak yang soleh dan taat pada agama.
amin.

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it all started from the training they went through together.
she was like any other girl he met.
but on that day when they had to practice the dance,
everything started to change.
her cute and sweet character caught his attention.
he made the first move by asking to be his partner.
he simply love the way she act.

during a short break,
she came beside him and started to talk to him.
though it's the first time they actually talk,
she just sat there and keep on talking.
as if they had knew each other for long.
sharing her stories.
he just sat there and listen to her.
he realize just how adorable she is.
he started to get comfortable being with her.

as time goes on,
he start to developed feeling for her.
but he never really show her.
they text each other almost every night.
sharing stories each time they text.
one day,
their friends saw how close these two were.
but everyone knew except them.

slowly, they got even closer.
both know that they have feeling for one another,
but he just don't know how to tell her.
then came the main event.
both were busy with their own tasks.
and despite the problems he face during the event,
he still think about her.

and days after the event,
he finally got his answer.
both admit their feelings to each other.
weeks after they got tot know one another,
they finally got together as a couple.

everything seems fine as both of them kicks off they love journey.
they seem very compatible with one another.
they solved their problems together.
but what they didn't know is that there's a bigger waves coming.
more and more problems came by.
hitting them harder each time.

it all started when he got sick.
and his illness just won't go away.
he got weaker each day.
he wanted to spent time with her,
but he just can't.
then,
another problem hit him real hard.
he started to have financial problems.
due to his illness,
he wasn't able to work like he normally did.
this problem also cause him to drift apart from her.
he was tried to spent time with her whenever he can.
but he felt useless as he don't have enough cash to have lunch with her,
go out with her and spent time with her.
he know things would get better once he recover.
and when that happen,
he can get his life back to how it was before.

sadly, it didn't.
they started to drift apart.
as there's always something that stop him from contacting her.
she start to assume things.
her text messages start to hurt him.
she say she understand him and will stay by him despite the problems he is facing.
but the reality is,
she just don't.
she felt hurt by his actions.
she felt he was ignoring her.
not knowing that she was always in his mind.
as he lay sick,
he could only read the messages from her and cry.

then the worst thing happen.
she ask for a break up.
he was so sick and ask her to give him time.
yet she insist on ending it.
she just don't understand.
but he know it wasn't her fault.
it's her first and she might not know what to expect.
she wasn't the girl he knew weeks before.

she have given up on him.
so much for wanting to be with him despite the problems.
but despite that,
he tried his best to get her back.
he try to be there for her,
he text her every night.
but slowly he realize that she just won't come back.
her reply tells everything.
for days,
he never get to read the i love you too line she use to say.
she just ignore all those things.
did she know just how much it means to him?

there's a saying,
it takes two hands to clap.
but now there's only one hand.
his weak hand is the only one left.
he felt the love is gone.
she's just not interested.
now,
went he sat on the train,
he would think of the train rides they use to take.
and how he would put his head on hers and sleep.
sometimes, he hope she would appear right before him.
and sleep in his arm throughout the journey back.
and at times,
when he fall sick,
he hope she would come and give him a hug.
but deep inside,
he knows none of it will ever happen.

well,
in reality,
there can never be a fairytale ending.
the sweet start ends just like that.
he knows,
they are just not made for one another.

Lee Jialing, may you have a better life after this.
I wish the best for you.
Be happy always and stay sweet,
For that's one of the reason that made me fall for you.

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